Freedom | Week 4 | Anatomy of a Grudge
Jacob and Esau
Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife because she was childless. The Lord heard his prayer, and his wife Rebekah conceived. But the children inside her struggled with each other, and she said, “Why is this happening to me?”
. . .When her time came to give birth, there were indeed twins in her womb. The first one came out reddish, covered with hair like a fur coat, and they named him Esau. After this, his brother came out grasping Esau’s heel with his hand. So he was named Jacob. …
Genesis 25:21-22,24-26
1. The Offense
When Isaac was old and his eyes were so weak that he could not see, he called his older son Esau and said to him, “My son.” And he answered, “Here I am.” He said, “Look, I am old and do not know the day of my death. Take your hunting gear, your quiver and bow, and go out in the field to hunt some game for me. Then make me the delicious food that I love and bring it to me to eat, so that I can bless you before I die.”
Genesis 27:1-4
He had also made some delicious food and brought it to his father. Then he said to his father, “Let my father get up and eat some of his son’s game, so that you may bless me.” But his father Isaac said to him, “Who are you?” He answered, “I am Esau your firstborn son.” Isaac began to tremble uncontrollably. “Who was it then,” he said, “who hunted game and brought it to me? I ate it all before you came in, and I blessed him. Indeed, he will be blessed!” When Esau heard his father’s words, he cried out with a loud and bitter cry and said to his father, “Bless me too, my father!”
But Isaac answered Esau: “Look, I have made him a master over you, have given him all of his relatives as his servants, and have sustained him with grain and new wine. What then can I do for you, my son?” Esau said to his father, “Do you only have one blessing, my father? Bless me too, my father!” And Esau wept loudly.
Genesis 27:31-34, 37-38
When hurt shifts to payback, you now have a grudge.
Esau held a grudge against Jacob because of the blessing his father had given him. And Esau determined in his heart: “The days of mourning for my father are approaching; then I will kill my brother Jacob.”
Genesis 27:41
2. The Grudge Identity
In order to let go of our grudge, we have to be willing to let go of our identity as the “wronged” one
3. The Choice
We think avoidance is self-preservation, but it’s actually grudge-preservation.
Jacob sent messengers ahead of him to his brother Esau in the land of Seir, the country of Edom.
He commanded them, “You are to say to my lord Esau, ‘This is what your servant Jacob says. I have been staying with Laban and have been delayed until now.
I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, male and female slaves. I have sent this message to inform my lord, in order to seek your favor.’”
When the messengers returned to Jacob, they said, “We went to your brother Esau; he is coming to meet you — and he has 400 men with him.”
Genesis 32:3-6
Now Jacob looked up and saw Esau coming toward him with 400 men. So he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two female slaves.
He himself went on ahead and bowed to the ground seven times until he approached his brother.
But Esau ran to meet him, hugged him, threw his arms around him, and kissed him. Then they wept.When Esau looked up and saw the women and children, he asked, “Who are these with you?” He answered, “The children God has graciously given your servant.”
Genesis 33:1, 3-5
Leah and her children also approached and bowed down, and then Joseph and Rachel approached and bowed down.So Esau said, “What do you mean by this whole procession I met?” “To find favor with you, my lord,” he answered.“I have enough, my brother,” Esau replied. “Keep what you have.”
Genesis 33:7-9
But Jacob said, “No, please! If I have found favor with you, take this gift from my hand. For indeed, I have seen your face, and it is like seeing God’s face, since you have accepted me. Please take my present that was brought to you, because God has been gracious to me and I have everything I need.” So Jacob urged him until he accepted. Then Esau said, “Let’s move on, and I’ll go ahead of you.”
Genesis 33:10-12
Apology: apo “off, away from” (see apo-) + logos “speech”
Repentance: metanoia - literally , “a change of mind or heart”
God holds no grudges
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
Romans 3:23
For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 6:23
We have redemption in Him through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.
Ephesians 1:7-8
Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how many times could my brother sin against me and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus said to him, “but 70 times seven.
Matthew 18:21-22